# BYSTANDER
^d72a49
>[!cite|no-title]
>_<center><div class="info"> [[Mei]] ✦ Entry 8 ✦ 14/03/4361</div></center>_
>**<center>[[Session 32]] - ?</center>**
>[!grid|col-3]
>>[!cite|no-title]
>>###### <div class="mei">Everyone Feels Weird</div>
>>
>>##### [[Everyone Feels Weird|◀ Previous Entry]]
>
>>[!cite|no-title]
>>###### <div class="mei">✧</div>
>>
>>##### [[Bystander#^89150e|Jump to Transcript ☟]]
>
>>[!cite|blank]
---
>[!journal|mei]
><div class="mei"><center>Hirotashi the 14th, Thunderday</center>
>
>Dear diary,
>
>there's a lot going on with everything, I guess. I don't think I could imagine what Izre might be feeling, this whole place is making me dizzy. He learns about a man who is family that he has never met before, but someone his dad has met (and knows) but didn't tell him about? I wonder if its his dad's secret, or if everyone in the family but Izre knows.
>
>And now, Absence is tangled up in it as well, her 'light core' being something that Potter is after, I think? It all confuses me, and I think it confuses Izre also. I see him try to smile, and try to lighten things a bit by playing jokes with me or with Vindarr, but it's getting harder. Vindarr even went to go talk to Absence, which, I'm not sure what I would have said, and maybe I would've said something if Vindarr wasn't faster at deciding to be nice. Maybe if I was nicer.
>
>I want to ask about the mirrors, too. I asked Vindarr and he talked about it in a way that made me feel sad, like it was my own mother. Everyone else looks so 'real', so filled with something (emotion, I think?) that I have to ask them of it. I want to hear what they say, I want to feel it through their words, as if it was me that was there. I'm scared to say that, I wish my own reflections would do that to me. It feels bad wishing I had their sadness (or anger), but when I see my reflections, I don't feel it as strongly. I don't fully remember these at all. I barely recognise the office, and I don't recognise that bedroom. I want to know if its the same for the others. I can't be the only one who feels like a bystander to someone else's memories.
></div>
---
>[!cite|transcript]- Transcript
>Hirotashi the 14th, Thunderday
>
>Dear diary,
>
>there's a lot going on with everything, I guess. I don't think I could imagine what Izre might be feeling, this whole place is making me dizzy. He learns about a man who is family that he has never met before, but someone his dad has met (and knows) but didn't tell him about? I wonder if its his dad's secret, or if everyone in the family but Izre knows.
>
>And now, Absence is tangled up in it as well, her 'light core' being something that Potter is after, I think? It all confuses me, and I think it confuses Izre also. I see him try to smile, and try to lighten things a bit by playing jokes with me or with Vindarr, but it's getting harder. Vindarr even went to go talk to Absence, which, I'm not sure what I would have said, and maybe I would've said something if Vindarr wasn't faster at deciding to be nice. Maybe if I was nicer.
>
>I want to ask about the mirrors, too. I asked Vindarr and he talked about it in a way that made me feel sad, like it was my own mother. Everyone else looks so 'real', so filled with something (emotion, I think?) that I have to ask them of it. I want to hear what they say, I want to feel it through their words, as if it was me that was there. I'm scared to say that, I wish my own reflections would do that to me. It feels bad wishing I had their sadness (or anger), but when I see my reflections, I don't feel it as strongly. I don't fully remember these at all. I barely recognise the office, and I don't recognise that bedroom. I want to know if its the same for the others. I can't be the only one who feels like a bystander to someone else's memories.
^89150e
>[!grid|col-3]
>>[!cite|no-title]
>>##### [[Everyone Feels Weird|◀ Previous Entry]]
>
>>[!cite|no-title]
>>##### [[Journal Entry Mei Template#^d72a49|Back to Top ☝︎]]
>
>>[!cite|blank]